Changed for Purpose

It is has been a desire, a passion, a dream and a goal of mine since starting a career as a nurse to do more for others, now that I can no longer WORK, I can still help by making others across the nation and around the world more aware of the Invisible monster that has already attacked and literally changed the lives of millions. I began the journey of hospice nursing, in aiding and helping families and patients in the disease, dying, death and grieving process to cope with their illness and what to expect next. Now my journey in life is carrying me in another direction, yet helping others.

I do believe that I am a Woman of Purpose and my sickness does not define me or my Destiny, I still have a job to do for the Lord, as long as their is breath in my body, I shall continue the assignment I have been assigned to do, since the Foundations of the World.

I also want to share with you an opportunity for Support on the local, national and global levels. I pray the pages of this journal will help you with your own Journey.

Veronica Moore

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Fibro Fog or something else?


What is Fibrofog?

Fibrofog is a term given to the variety of cognitive problems that many fibromyalgia sufferers face during their illness. Fibrofog encompasses memory loss, difficulties using language, and difficulties with learning. These symptoms tend to descend in a haze or "fog," around the sufferer. Fibrofogs can occur at any time and can vary in intensity when they do occur. Fibrofogs tend to be at their most severe during flare ups in pain.

Fibrofog affects about both women and men who have fibromyalgia pain, though it tends to hit women more often. Women between the ages of 30 and 50 are most likely to be affected by fibrofog. Just when I thought I was out of this age bracket, I get blindsided at the age of 49. Episodes of fibrofog typically last only a few days, though sometimes severe fibrofog can last for weeks or even months. Fibrofog can be frustrating, when you know you know something, someone, or a name of someone and you just CANNOT remember!

Symptoms of Fibrofog
Fibrofog is one of the most common yet unrecognized symptoms of fibromyalgia. If you have fibromyalgia signs and symptoms it is important to be aware of fibrofog so that you can seek appropriate treatment and manage your illness more effectively. Some symptoms of fibrofog include:

short term memory loss
difficulty remembering where you put things
difficulty remembering plans
difficulty with language, including trouble holding conversations, understanding conversations, and expressing thoughts
difficulty finding the "right" word to use in conversation
trouble remembering simple numbers
transposing letters and numbers
trouble concentrating and focusing
trouble retaining new information

It works well to have a journal, a LARGE calendar hanging in a familiar place or a PDA/palm pilot or similiar device in which you can use to chart and document things. I find that large calendar hanging in the kitchen perfect, the placing of those vital meds next to my toothbrush very valuable.


Causes of Fibrofog
The causes of memory loss and fibrofog are as yet undetermined; however, a number of factors could be at the root of these cognitive impairments. It is apparent that there is no real problem with the mental capacities of people suffering from fibrofog. Instead, there must be underlying problems that cause the brain to be unable to complete memory functions. Many of the sufferers of ff were at one time very active in their community, with work, family, activities and more.
Sleep Deprivation: Sleep disorders are one of the primary fibromyalgia signs and symptoms. Lack of adequate sleep can affect the brain’s ability to produce enough of the neurochemical serotonin, which aids in laying down memory.


Decreased Blood Flow: Studies show that fibromyalgia disability can cause decreased blood flow to certain areas of the brain responsible for creating short term memories. This lack of blood flow may prevent the brain from adequately creating new memories.

Chronic Pain: The chronic pain caused by fibromyalgia may actually inhibit the brain’s ability to create memories. Processing pain signals takes up a lot of the brain’s time and energy, especially in someone with fibromyalgia. This excessive pain may therefore reduce the amount of time the brain spends on trying to form new memories. Pain also produces large amounts of stress which can be one of the causes of short term memory loss.

Depression: A large percentage of people with fibromyalgia also report that they suffer from anxiety and depression. Depression and memory loss definitely seem to be linked. Depression lowers the levels of serotonin in the brain, preventing new memories from being laid down. Low levels of serotonin are also linked with learning difficulties.

Effects of Fibrofog on Fibromyalgia
Fibrofog tends to have negative effects on fibromyalgia symptoms and the course of the illness. Fibrofog can cause people with fibromyalgia to forget important self-care techniques including stretching and exercise. This can cause the pain of fibromyalgia to become worse.
In a recent study involving people with and without fibromyalgia, those with fibromyalgia reported more trouble with memory, concentration, mental confusion, and speaking. Patients with fibrofog also complained of more pain, increased fatigue, and more difficulty sleeping.

What IS Fibromyalgia?


Fibromyalgia makes you feel tired and causes muscle pain and "trigger or tender points." These points are places on the neck, shoulders, back, hips, arms or legs that hurt when touched. People with fibromyalgia may have other symptoms, such as:
Widespread musculoskeletal pain
Migraines and other Headaches
Non restorative sleep
Fatigue
Psychological distress
Specific regions of localized tenderness
Morning stiffness
Tingling or numbness in hands and feet
Headaches, including migraines
Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)
Problems with thinking and memory (called "fibro fog")
Painful menstrual periods and other pain syndromes

The American Medical Association (AMA) reports that Fibromyalgia is currently the second most common disorder diagnosed by rheumatologists; it affects nearly 20% of their patients. FM is seen worldwide, in all ages and ethnic groups, and in young children through older adults, although for most individuals the symptoms begin in their 20's or 30's.

The community prevalence of FM is reported as 1% in the United Kingdom and up to 5% of the total U.S. population (approximately 3.4% of all women and 0.5% of men). That is, 7 to 10 million Americans have FM. In the US, approximately 90% of those diagnosed are women between the ages of 20 and 50. It occurs in females to males in an approximate ratio of 20 to 1. People with rheumatoid arthritis and other autoimmune diseases are particularly likely to develop FM.

Fibromyalgia is a chronic illness that causes immense physical pain and debilitating fatigue. Classified as a syndrome, fibromyalgia is not a disease. Instead it is a condition that causes many different symptoms. These symptoms affect all systems in the body. Fibromyalgia plagues up to 5% of the population, with 6+ million sufferers in the United States alone. The name fibromyalgia comes from "fibro" meaning fibrous tissue (such as tendons and ligaments), "my" meaning muscles, and "algia" meaning pain.

Fibromyalgia's main symptom is widespread musculoskeletal pain. This pain affects the ligaments, tendons, and muscles throughout the body. Ligaments are made of tough tissues which attach to the bones in your body. Tendons help to attach muscles to your bones. Muscles allow you to stretch and flex various body parts.

Fibromyalgia patients often feel like they are aching all over; muscles feel sore, stiff, and overworked. Muscle twitches are also common in fibromyalgia, adding to the pain of the illness. Sometimes muscles can even feel like they are burning.

A Chronic Disorder

Fibromyalgia is a chronic disorder, which means that pain can continue for months and even years. Unfortunately, fibromyalgia treatment is often difficult to come by and many people must suffer in silence. However, fibromyalgia pain generally does not worsen over time, and it doesn't cause inflammation of the internal organs or muscles.

http://faithandfibromyalgia.blogspot.com/ Fibromyalgia is a chronic illness that causes immense physical pain and debilitating fatigue. Classified as a syndrome, fibromyalgia is not a disease. Instead it is a condition that causes many different symptoms. These symptoms affect all systems in the body. Fibromyalgia plagues up to 5% of the population, with 6+ million sufferers in the United States alone. The name fibromyalgia comes from "fibro" meaning fibrous tissue (such as tendons and ligaments), "my" meaning muscles, and "algia" meaning pain.Fibromyalgia's main symptom is widespread musculoskeletal pain. This pain affects the ligaments, tendons, and muscles throughout the body. Ligaments are made of tough tissues which attach to the bones in your body. Tendons help to attach muscles to your bones. Muscles allow you to stretch and flex various body parts.Fibromyalgia patients often feel like they are aching all over; muscles feel sore, stiff, and overworked. Muscle twitches are also common in fibromyalgia, adding to the pain of the illness. Sometimes muscles can even feel like they are burning.A Chronic DisorderFibromyalgia is a chronic disorder, which means that pain can continue for months and even years. Unfortunately, fibromyalgia treatment is often difficult to come by and many people must suffer in silence. However, fibromyalgia pain generally does not worsen over time, and it doesn't cause inflammation of the internal organs or muscles.http://faithandfibromyalgia.blogspot.com/

Relaxing Bath


Look no further than your bathroom for relief. Your grandmother always said that there's nothing much that a bath can't fix. A nice, long soak may be just the ticket to put some steam into your motor and get you going.

Bridge The Gap

Conversely, a warm bath may help soothe you enough to lull you to sleep after a wearying day of battling your condition. There are times when the fatigue seems overwhelming, but it never fails to surprise us just how fatigue can linger without ever resulting in restful sleep. Sometimes a special bath can help bridge the gap between fatigue and elusive sleep.

Here are some tips for making the most out of bath time:

*Darken the room but provide some soft light with candles.

*Make sure the bath isn't too hot. Too hot equals poor circulation and fatigue. You want to lull yourself to sleep, not wipe yourself out.

Self-massage

*Treat yourself to a self-massage just before you have your soak. Start with your temples, move down to your neck muscles, and on down to your upper arms. Massage your hands, then your thighs, calves, and feet.

*Listen to music, or if you prefer, wear ear plugs to block out distracting household noise.

*Place an oil burner in your bathroom and use any essential oils that you like. For serenity, try: frankincense, germanium, lavender, and ylang ylang.

*If your eyes feel very tired, try wearing an eye mask during your soak.

1) Bath of Roses: Add 6-8 drops of rose essential oil to your tub. Give your face an occasional spritz of rose water as you soak. Throw in some rose petals (from unsprayed roses) for good measure. Nosh on good quality dark chocolate, and listen to love songs. Repeat the following mantra, "Every cell in my body is healthy and loved."

Slow Down

2) Slow Down Bath: This bath recipe is for days when you feel rushed and harried and feel desperate for calm. Add to your bath the following essential oils:

6 drops ylang ylang

4 drops Vetiver—this herb lifts depression and removes the burnout feeling

Journaling


I am a journaler, I write everything down, I would be classified as a queen of journals. I just like the pretty books in which I can write down my thoughts, write down words of inspirations, conversations with God, and the events of this Fibro monster. You too, may want to consider starting a journal listing your daily events as you battle the monster within. A symptom journal is an excellent way to relieve stress, recall events, pain episodes, how you felt, what you were doing at the time, what relieved the pain, what didn't, express emotions and discover new ways to cope with fibromyalgia. Your Fibro journal does not have to focus specifically on your fibromyalgia symptoms but can be an open diary on your physical, mental and spiritual health. It can also prove to very beneficial when going to the doctor as a memory jogger for what you wanted to say, but can't remember, I would go as far as having things color coded, and sections, such as a Doctor question section, a doctor name and number section, past and present, a food section, what you ate, how your body responded to it....

What is the Journal For?
Writing in a journal can be very personal or open diary on your life. Most people keep private journals to identify their changing moods, to set goals, improve communication skills, or simply to release pent up emotions. Whether you like to write in point form or in paragraphs is not important when writing in diaries.
For most people, the purpose of a journal is to understand yourself better, to get a better idea of who you are and what you want to do with your life. What makes a fibromyalgia symptom journal different is that you can also keep track of your symptoms and flare-ups, possibly identifying certain triggers.

Make a Commitment to Writing
You could begin by making a commitment to write about your symptoms, moods and feelings on a weekly basis. You can document your fibromyalgia symptoms, your moods and feelings during the day, what triggers your fibromyalgia symptoms and when and if you were able to relax. You could write down a list of tasks and errands that you want to get done that week and check them off every night when you go to bed. This will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment at achieving your goals. Later on you can move on to bigger goals and write out the steps to achieve those goals.
If you make journal-writing a habit, you will eventually detect the patterns of your thoughts and feelings associated with fibromyalgia. You can go back through your journal and re-read your entries to see how your attitude or feelings have changed or stayed the same regarding fibromyalgia or any other aspect of your life. You can also notice any emerging trends as to when your symptoms or better or worse. This may help you avoid those factors that can trigger symptom flare-ups or seek our fibromyalgia relief before your symptoms get too unbearable.
Benefits of a Symptom Journal
Please don't beat yourself up if you don't write for a day or two or seven, it's YOUR journal, you are the CEO of the journal book. There is no right or wrong way to journalize, afterall, it is your account of your life and events and you can write what you want. There are several benefits to keeping a symptom journal a few times every week. The major benefit of keeping a journal is discovering what can trigger a fibromyalgia flare up. When you have a written record of a fibromyalgia flare up, your symptoms, your mood and the events preceding the flare up, you are better equipped to deal with that type of situation the next time it arises. Other benefits to keeping a journal include:

relieves stress
organizes appointments, finances, fitness or health goals
enhances communication skills
strengthens your friendships and relationships
builds self-esteem and a sense of independence
increases awareness of fibromyalgia symptoms
powerful tool to fight fibromyalgia

Writing Tips
Look for your preference of journal or scrapbook that allows for creative space, have highlighers and post it tabs.
Find a private quiet place, it could be in your home or in the park, or on your deck.
Develop a routine for writing, writing at the same time and place every day or every few days
Keep your journal in a safe and secure spot and let your family know the importance of your privacy
Date every entry so that you can become aware of patterns and cycles in your life
Avoid the need for perfectionism, your journal is private and is a personal tool for self-discovery.
The more open and honest you are with yourself in your writing, the more you can notice your subconscious thought patterns, motivations and beliefs about yourself and others. When journaling about your pain, be sure to rate your pain with a number 1-10

Food Journal
You can also keep a food journal or health journal to find patterns in what you eat, what may be causing flares in your fibromyalgia and how to eat healthier. If you suffer from fibromyalgia, you know the havoc that sugar, caffeine, alcohol and fatty, fried foods can wreak on your health. Keeping track of what you eat can make you aware of eating patterns and what may be exacerbating fibromyalgia symptoms like headaches, urinary problems or constipation.

http://faithandfibromyalgia.blogspot.com/

Friday, May 20, 2011

The Purpose of MY Pain


God had spoke to me long before the doctors diagnosis about this pain and told me that there is a Purpose to the pain. Everything I take you through, I have a purpose for it, then I begin to see my many Christian sisters and brothers, ministers, pastors, prophets and so on, how they treated me, responded to me, adviced me, and God said to me, show them how Amazing my Grace is, for they take it for granted, but it is through Grace that one can even live with this, because MY grace HE said, IS sufficient.

He said to me that it rains on the Just and the UNjust, life happens to us all, when the twin towers came down on 9-11, the saved folk didn't excape because they were saved, life just happened, and 3,000+ died!

Christians started treating me like the disease, some gave their unsolicited advise, others told me what to do, what to drink, eat and wear, one of my own sisters told me to PRESS into prayer more.... so it was then, I seen the PURPOSE, because if these "friends/family" were going off on me in a way that was NOT the way Jesus would have, how were they treating people that didn't walk in the same level of faith as I, and God allowed me to walk through the corrodors of Fibro for His children to share HOPE while coping. For you see, not only was I witness to Jesus in how He handled the woman at the well, the woman with the issue of blood, the woman who had been bent over for 18 years, I WAS her. He spoke out of GRACE and MERCY to the pain. He never told them what they did wrong, that they needed to just get up and exercise, all He said, was YOUR FAITH: HAS MADE YOU WHOLE~ The struggle is for your faith.
Sometimes we are removed from those that are "like" us, yet so different from a different perspective. The yellow chick is made just like the black ones, but dared to be different, even if it meant, coming down from the crowd and walk alone, there is a purpose for it. Don't allow anyone to devaluate you because of what has happened to you. No one graduated from high school and declared to have a life of pain, no one woke up and said, let me have a back ache today and for the rest of my life, just like Job AND his wife. LIFE JUST HAPPENS!
I have removed over 1,000 friends, and replaced them with people who I have an appreciation for, those with pain, who are what the Believer is to be, NONjudgmental and indifferent, full of Love and Compassion. ~

Broken glass


Today I woke up feeling ok. Then as the morning begin to bring daylight in, the pain intensified, it is barely 7am and my hands are in so much pain. I mean it feels like broken glass, a million little pieces of broken glass in my hands from my fingertips to my wrists. I mean it feels like a 99 year old with osteoarthritis. Then as I lay back down, and curl up in the fetal position, my feet are feeling the same way. My thighs are BRUISED as if I had been beat, it feels like someone came down on my thighs with a metal board and just SLAMMED me. As I lay there, I begin to cry for God to just take me home, this is NOT living, laying in a cesspool of tears, and now it is almost 8am and I am taking pain pills to try to fight the pain.

I know my Faith is on trial and under fire. I know I am being TRIED in the fire, I know that my Redeemer lives and that there is a purpose for the Pain, a Ministry from this Madness. I know that being weakened from this pain without any notice that through Christ, I am made strong. I will confront this, I will challenge this, I will conquer this!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

D Day 5/19/11


Today I went in to the pain clinic after having called one day last week because in getting "in" bed super late one night after still unable to sleep, while climbing in the bed, I silently SCREAMED in horrific pain, have you ever screamed silently? It was about 4am this morning and the pain was so intense, I didn't want to alarm the others who were sleep, so I SCREAMED within myself. The PAIN was so great, I fell on the bed, it was as if my whole leg was twisted with a human sized vice grip, well, the next morning I called the clinic to make a right now appointment, it took about 2 weeks to get seen, which was today, and the doctors FINALLY confirmed what I already feared and prepared my mind for: Fibromyalgia. They gave me the game plan, I can't even tell you what they said it would entail. The doctor made comment of treating me in 2006 with "Trigger" injections, of course I recalled it NOT! So we are back at square one for treatment, but now with a Diagnosis. Today was D Day, the Day they finally Diagnosed this, they also want to check and see if I had had a stroke due to the one sided weakness going on while he was examining me. I am so sore right now, spazzing in my back ALL day today. Spazzing in my shoulders, and collar bone area, and chest wall pain as I sit here and type. Hands feels like broken shattered pieces of glass, no strength in the wrists whatsoever. Knees, thighs, hips and buttocks in constant spasms and sharp shooting type pains. Tomorrow will hopefully be better, it is 1:58pm and I am going to try to lay down on a pad of ice.